Be happy

Be happy – what do these words mean to you?

I thought that I would write about happiness today, as I find that many people are not happy. These are the people that I meet on a day-to-day basis as I go about my own life. They are often also the clients who come to me because they feel that something is missing in their life. They believe that if they had that thing (or person) in their life they could be truly happy.

I believe that we make our own happiness in life

We make our own happiness in life. I think that the sooner we appreciate that fact, the happier or more content we can be. In fact, if that is true, we are actually more empowered as we have more control over our lives. Often we choose to relinquish responsibility for our own happiness by making excuses and blaming others.

Life isn’t fair, you may say

I agree that life isn’t fair! Once we accept that fact, we can then go on to look at what we can change in life.

We don’t have control over everything in life. Consequently, it is no good to feel frustrated over the things that we cannot change.

Once we accept what we can control and what we can’t we can start feeling more at peace. There are also things that we may have some influence over. These things, we don’t have complete control over but can influence. An example is adding our views to a workplace survey that may drive future changes in the workplace.

What you choose to focus on becomes your reality

Did you know that what you choose to focus on becomes your reality? This is dwelling on something (usually a negative thought). If you choose to focus on something you are not happy with, it is likely to make you feel worse. Unless you put some constructive steps into place to change it, it can become overwhelming. For example, if you have a health issue, worrying about it will make you feel worse.

So many of us choose to self-sabotage, for whatever reason. Often we could make our situation better but we choose not to.

The reasons for not taking action to improve our lives (if we would like to) can be quite complex. Often they may relate to old patterns of behaviour that started in childhood and have been reinforced throughout our life. However, you can start to learn to think differently.

Look for the positives in a situation

So often we choose to look at the negatives in a situation. If we looked for the positives we would feel so much better. I tended to do this when I was younger. However, finding personal development really helped me to largely overcome this trait. You can too – if you recognise that this is something that you also tend to do.

Below are a few tips to help you find happiness (which I believe is really peace of mind), which is often already there, if you look hard enough…

Tips to help you be happy

In times of feeling down, be self-aware of your thinking around something. For example, rather than dwelling on a problem, try to look for a solution).
When a situation is out of your control, consider how you are reacting to it as it is your reaction to it that is actually influencing how you are feeling.
Learn to stop ‘beating yourself up’ if you are someone who is very self-critical, as many of us tend to be.
Focus on your strengths, rather than your weaknesses.
Look for something to be grateful for every day (consider starting a gratitude diary).
Learn to take responsibility for your own happiness by not thinking it is up to others to make you happy.
Spend more time with the people who you enjoy being around and less time around those that you don’t.
Look at what motivates you and do more of it whether that is a hobby, voluntary work or listening to personal development podcasts, for example.
If a situation is really impacting on your happiness, do something about it – life is too short to stay in that wrong job, wrong relationship, etc.
Whilst occasional treats are ok, try to eat a balanced diet to make you feel healthier, avoid over-eating and drink plenty of water.
Build some time for you into your daily calendar to do the things that make you feel good, whether that is a short daily walk, a yoga session or calling a friend.
Finally, smile – smiling and laughing can actually make you feel better!

As always, please feel free to share your own tips for happiness with me…

For further help…

If you would like to see other articles on this website that mention happiness please click here or you may wish to follow me on my Facebook page.

However, if you do feel that you need to get professional help to help you feel better in your life, please do so.