Change is good! (Honestly!)
Change is good! Do you believe that? I am not talking about change for change’s sake. I am talking about improving our happiness if we are not currently feeling particularly happier with our lives.
Change can be scary (and that’s ok!)
It is the fear of change that holds many people back. This fear prevents them from changing their lives for the better. I have blogged about this before, but I think that sometimes it is worth reminding ourselves about it.
Sometimes we do not realise that we are not taking action due to a fear of change. The reason for this fear is that it is much easier to stay within our comfort zone. This is the case, even if it is not serving us well. We may not be happy with our current situation, but it is easier to stay within it. Change takes planning and action and may cause uncertainty and fear, as mentioned. Some of the reasons for not taking action are:
- We can’t be bothered.
- We are not sure what to do.
- It is easier to stay where we are than do anything about it. We may lack the necessary confidence to take the necessary action.
- We are frightened of making the wrong decision if we are contemplating something major. These big changes include ending a relationship, moving house, giving up a job, etc.
- We may have had a bad experience in the past that stops us from making changes now.
- We just fear change in general. Whilst some people thrive on change, for many the thought of making the change becomes scarier than the change itself.
Start by changing your mindset
If it is your thought processes that are stopping you from making beneficial changes you can do several things to address this:
- Surround yourself with positive people who will support you in the change.
- Get someone else to help you with actually making the change.
- Consider the benefits of making the change. Write them down.
- Work on your self-esteem/confidence. Often we don’t value ourselves enough so we may be putting someone else first (for example a partner in a relationship that we are not happy in).
- Write down a plan for making the change and set some goals/milestones.
- Consider getting a professional, such as a coach, to help support you as you plan and make the change, and possibly afterward, if you need it.
Things to help you during the change process
- Review your plan regularly. Tick off when you have completed the actions. (Give yourself a small reward when you achieve smaller goals).
- Speak to someone close who is supporting you during the change period. You will likely have moments of self-doubt. Having someone there to support you during this period may be the difference in you carrying on or giving up on the change.
- If you need help in actually carrying out some aspects of the change, look at who can help you. This will stop you become too overwhelmed if you are trying to do everything yourself.
- Take things a step at a time, go at your own pace, but keep moving, however slowly. Again, pacing yourself will help you to avoid overwhelm.
- As you may be feeling a certain amount of stress, do the things that help you stay healthy. These may include breathing exercises, walking in nature, getting enough sleep, eating well, staying hydrated, etc. These are some things that we sometimes forget to do when we are busy and feeling stressed.
- Remember to continue to work on your mindset and personal development. You are the most important person here. If you can make the changes that benefit you in your life, others will likely be happier too. This will be because you will be a happier person to be around. Who knows – you may encourage others to make changes in their own lives too!
To conclude…
I hope that this has gone a short way to help you to want to do something about changing your life if you are not happy. My belief is that life is short and you deserve to be happy. I also believe that we are all responsible for our own happiness in life. This is because it is how we react to things and the choices that we make that help us to feel happy. It is these things rather than the things that life throws at us that cause us to be unhappy.
In the past, I have put up with things for too long, often thinking about others before myself. I am now more aware of the need for my own self-care. Perhaps it is time for you to think about yours too?
I have written previously about making changes in your life in your life. Check out these blogs: Other blogs on making changes.
Please also follow me on Facebook and feel free to ask to join either or both of my Facebook groups. There is Taming Mind Monkeys (focusing on mindset and positive thinking) and Julie’s Health and Wellbeing group (focusing on both physical and mental health).
Please also contact me at julie@jlconsultancy.org if you would like to book a free session to discuss how I can support you to change your life.